The Penguins won't make the playoffs...

We've always wanted to do something in the vein of the brilliant "Fire Joe Morgan" ilk but have never really found the right ammunition. But then our old friend the Peerless Prognosticator, looked into the crystal ball and saw the following when he asked himself 12 questions...So what are questions without answers, right?

11. Will the Caps meet the Penguins in the playoffs?

The short answer to this is…”no.”

The long answer: the Caps are 1-5 in the playoffs against the Penguins, so hopefully the team that hasn't won a playoff series in over a decade doesn't run up against their historical and more experienced nemesis.

Not in the first round, not in the second round, not ever this year. Why?

Because one team will lose early? Like the team that lost early last year? Tell us!

Because the Penguins are the kind of mess in the same way that a room of furniture bought from eight different stores is a mess.

Oh, I thought it was because the Penguins were currently out of the playoffs if they were to start today. Which they don't. And Pittsburgh is only a whole point out of 8th place.

Maybe it is because they are a mess of furniture though.

The pieces don’t seem to fit coherently to make for a long, successful run of wins.

The Penguins won six games in a row in November. And the core of the team (Sidney Crosby, Marc-Andre Fleury, Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal, Brooks Orpik, Ryan Whitney, etc) was three goals from winning a Stanley Cup last June.

But, you know, other than that they can't really be expected to make any long, successful runs.

Do they match Crosby and Malkin on a line, or do they split them up?

Crosby and Malkin are 1 and 2 in the points race. Malkin, in particular, has shown that he can be effective as a winger on Crosby's line or centering a "second" line.

Together or apart, they make plays. Whether or not they are on the same line seems like a bigger concern for how the opposition sets their checking lines and defensive pairs.

When is Gonchar coming back?

About 2-3 weeks, which is a little ahead of the original prognosis.

What winger can they match with Crosby to get any production?

Evgeni Malkin, Tyler Kennedy, Petr Sykora or whoever they add at the trade deadline.

And who are they looking to add production to? Crosby has 45 even strength points this season--second in the league only to Malkin's 51. They've rotated no shortage of players with Sid (like Malkin, Kennedy, Max Talbot, Pascal Dupuis, Matt Cooke) and Crosby has put up numbers. Whoever is playing hot gets their shot on the top line, and Crosby usually comes through with them.

What happened to the power play (tied with Tampa for 23rd overall and dead last in the NHL on the road)?

The loss of Gonchar, who was #2 in the entire league with 46 power play points last season. The next highest defensemen (Nicklas Lidstrom and Mark Streit) had 34 PP points. Gonchar also led all players in the NHL with 38 power play assists.

Given that he's played a grand total of 0 games this season the lack of power play success comes a little bit more into focus.

What happened to Fleury (he’s saved fewer than 90 percent of the shots he’s faced in nine of the last 16 games he’s played)?

A lot of shots is what happened. Fleury's faced 1095 shots in 36 appearances (over 30 a game). Despite that he still has a save percentage of .911 and a record of 18-13-1. Jose Thedore's save percentage is currently .899, by the way.

Do Crosby and coach Michel Therrien not get along?

No.

Will – or when will – Therrien be fired?

Barring an extended, extended losing streak, no time this season.

The Penguins have, as they say, “issues” that go far beyond a Stanley Cup hangover.

Uhh, it's February. No one on the team is thinking about last season, they're focused on this year.

And as mentioned, of this writing one point of of 8th place (though other teams do have games in hand). One whole point, time to turn it in for the season! They're so hungover they're practically still drunk. Jordan Staal hasn't been this hungover since the day after his brother's bachelor party!

Even Barry Melrose, who would know the specie (having seen one up close coaching Tampa Bay this year), said that the Penguins aren’t a very good hockey team.

Even Barry Melrose! Well that solves it! No chance at all the Penguins could get to the playoffs now if the esteemed Barry Melrose thinks they aren't a very good hockey team. Because surely has he ever erred in his hockey judgement.

And as long as I'm asking questions, why does this happen? Why does it happen with Penguins games? Do Pittsburgh fans have more money? More passion? Fewer outside interests? Fewer job responsibilities? If a Redskins fan isn't going to hold on to his tickets when his team is 6-2 and playing a home Monday Night Football game for the first time in six or seven years, exactly when is he going to hold onto his tickets? Or is this just an inevitable part of playing Pittsburgh?

Haha, a silent count in their "home" stadium. Yikes.

Gameday: Steelers at Washington

Image taken from Ape's DC Steeler Nation blog

It's not all about hockey here...OK so it is, but today is a special day; for the Steelers are coming to Landover and we'll be there. Should be a fun day and a good game featuring two solid should-be playoff teams.

Oh, and Jason you better get rid of that ball quickly....Deebo's comin for your ass.

Pens beat Caps, sun rises in the east

Despite playing one of the most dreadful periods (it was the 2nd) that I've seen of professional hockey, the Penguins picked up 2 points on the hapless Washington Capitals.

Thoughts:

``The loss of Mark Eaton showed early and often. Sergei Gonchar looked brutal and downright uncomfortable out there in his own zone.

``Brooks Orpik came back from his 3 game healthy scratch exile with a vengence, credited with 5 hits and 5 blocked shots and played the style that has to be pleasing to the coach.

``Caps fans, by now, are used to the heartbreak of crushing defeats at the hands of Pittsburgh....But if that ridiculous Crosby-to-Malkin one timer hits the net (instead of the post) with less than 5 seconds in regulation even I would almost feel sorry for them.....Almost.

``Much of the team looked disjointed but the Roberts-Christensen-Laraque line was not good. Guess it was lightning in a bottle.

``Speaking of Crusher, what a faceoff win late in the game to set up Sydor's tying goal. That's as clutch as any shootout goal he'll score.

``The Caps got the short end of the stick twice in penalties: Ovechkin's cross-check wasn't even close to being a cross-check and Shaone Morrrrrisssssonnnn's roughing wasn't that rough. (The lesson, as usual kids is don't spell your name like a jackass).

``Anyone seen or heard from Petr Sykora?

``Glad to hear Mr. Nemesis is ok and just has a superficial cut after taking an accidental Kris Letang skate to the leg.

More about Ovechkin, let's look at him and Crosby head to head....If you're keeping track (and I am!) Sid is still "Gretzky'ing" AO. That of course is a term I think I created meaning you've got more assists than the other guy has points.

Sidney Crosby: 5 goals, 12 assists, 17 points

Alex Ovechkin: 5 goals, 4 assists, 9 points

And more importantly:

Penguins: 9-1
Capitals: 1-7-2 (1 shootout and 1 OT loss)

Nice to get two more points, but it'd be hard to drop a home-game to the last place team in the Conference who played the previous night. Either way, drop two more in the points column and time to move on.

Up next, a home-and-home with the Buffalo Sabres. Somehow I get the feeling one of these games will have more hype and excitement behind it than the other...

Ranking Franchises Locally

Interesting study reported by sportsbusinessjournal.com: how much support all the major franchises receive locally. Some noteables:

1. Pittsburgh Steelers (every network staking out Big Ben's hospital will do that)
2. New England Patriots
3. Indianapolis Colts
4. Buffalo Sabres
5. Boston Red Sox
8. Detroit Red Wings
20. Pittsburgh Penguins
21. Ottawa Senators
28. Dallas Cowboys
29. New York Yankees
118. Washington Capitals
122. (dead last) Arizona Cardinals

---I'm not surprised at all the Steelers are number one. They should be. Any time the backup tackle takes a poop it's front page news.

--I am a little surprised that the Colts beat out the Sabres and the Red Sox. I guess not much else goes on in Indy, so that plays in their favor.

--Good to see the Penguins coming in 3rd for NHL teams. Well deserved and pretty accurate in my estimation.

--Dallas #28? The Yankees #29? Hmm.

---There are a lot of great Capitals blogs out there, but unfortunately that's about all the support they receive. As a resident of this area, I can tell you they generate about as much local excitement in the media as the minor league soccer team in Richmond (where I used to live) did.