Just when you thought the markets couldn't get any worse...

...It's Bettman! And the Islanders! The epitome of how to run a sports league and franchise!

Yeah, we're doomed aren't we.

(Hat-tip to the Puck Daddy)

Hossa to Red Wings

It's not surprising at all that Marian Hossa chose to join another team, but the one he did join (a contender) the amount (less than the maximum offer) and the term (1 year) might have indicated he'd return to the Penguins.

Or maybe not. Hossa is a member of the Detroit Red Wings, thanks to signing a one year $7.4 million deal. $7.4 million is the most Detroit will pay another player, they want their captain Niklas Lidstrom to be the highest paid player.

We're shocked, no stunned, that Hossa accepted a one-year deal. The financial security he could have gotten from a 5, 6, 7 year deal from no limit of teams could have set him up so much more securly. Clearly $7.4 million dollars is nothing to scoff at, but if Hossa suffers any number of potentially career threatening/limiting injuries (like blowing out a knee or suffering a concussion) the amount of money on the table won't be great.

But then again he's going to the defending Stanley Cup Champions and is in a great position to try and win a Cup. Can't fault him for that.

Can apparantely fault him for not thinking that situation is in Pittsburgh. We have nothing to back this up, but clearly if he offered to let the Pens match Detroit's offer, they would have done it. Hell they might have even added in an extra 3% to cancel out that tax Hossa didnwas weary of.

For the Penguins it's time to switch gears and switch them quickly. Hossa has moved on and so must they. The names heard the most seem to be Markus Naslund, Jaromir Jagr, Pavol Demitra....Watch for Kristian Huselius as well.

Body of an American.....Orpik rejects the Penguins

Why wouldn't you sign this guy $4 million plus a year if you're a basement team?

In lieu of recent impending free agent news (Marian Hossa, Ryan Malone, Gary Roberts) it should come as no surprise that Brooks Orpik has rejected the Penguins latest contract offer. At this point, with just a few days left in June before unrestricted free agency, there's no reason for a guy who's trained and played hockey his whole life not to see what's out there on the open market.

Still, it's a little sad to know what was a pretty good offered (rumored to be about $14 million for four years [$3.5 million annually]) was rejected.

We don't doubt what Brooks Orpik said in January when he told reporters:

"I've loved all the time I've had here," he said. "I love the guys here, love the direction Ray [Shero, the general manager] has put the organization in. Everything here is done first-class, very professionally....Some guys get really upset with where they're at, they can't wait to get to July 1 to get out of a situation. ... I've talked with a lot of guys I've played with here who have gone other places, and they kind of wish they could come back."

We honestly believe what Orpik said to be true. But to turn down the serious money the Pens offered obviously shows a difference of philosphy. Maybe it's because Michel Therrien doesn't play him on the penalty kill and has had a frosty relationship with Orpik. That's not the end of the world, coaches and players don't need to be the best of friends and go out for beers after games; they need to win games.

Therrien shoved Orpik in a role of 4th line winger this season. Not because he was necessarily unhappy with Orpik, but he was trying to prove a point.

--Don't run around so much in the zone looking for a hit and opening up room for scoring chances.
--Stop taking so many lazy penalties that might lead to someone to rhyme your first name with an infraction and start a blog off of it.
--Play smart, play forceful.

To Therrien's credit, when Rob Scuderi was injured there was a hole opened up for Sergei Gonchar's partner. He didn't hesitate to plug Orpik in that gap and stuck with it for the rest of the season. Orpik rewarded him by redeeming himself to play the best hockey of his season. No doubt playing with the guy who came in 4th in Norris Trophy voting (and should have been higher than that) had something to do with it. But Orpik performed, he learned the lessons that HCMT was trying to convey and it showed.

At the end of the day though, it's about what the player wants. Despite his relationship with Therrien, Orpik has proven to be a loyal soldier to the Penguins regime and willing to accept whatever role they throw at him. While he rejected the Pens offer, it still seems out of Hossa and Malone, BO would be the most likely high profile UFA to return to the Pens. But to fit under the salary cap with their roster, how much more than the reportedly ~$3.5 million a season can Pittsburgh go? That's your $56.7 million dollar question.

Right now it doesn't seem like July 1 is shaping up to be a good day on 66 Mario Lemieux Place.

He'd probably kick an ass or two, that's what Gary Roberts would do

This picture was taken in 1984....It might be the last time Gary Roberts has ever smiled.

Ok, so we're still a little reeling from the fact the a 42 year old who would probably be a 3rd/4th liner has decided to leave the Pens. But it's just not anyone drafted in the same year as Patrick Roy and Mario Lemieux, it's Gary Roberts.

By the way, a sampling of the injuries Roberts has endured in his hockey career (see the link up top to read for yourself)....Broken thumb, whiplash, surgery to repair a severed blood vessel and save the quadriceps muscle, hematoma in left quadricep (severe charley horse), although Roberts broke the thumb in seven places, he missed only one game before playing in Calgary's March 26, 1994 , Missed Toronto's 2002 training camp and start of 2002-03 season while recovering from off-season shoulder surgeries to correct tendon impingement in both shoulders, severe nerve damage in his neck, the degeneration of discs in his neck and resulting bone spurs combined to limit space available to nerves in his spine, Doctors had said that a particularly hard hit could cause discs in Roberts' spinal cord to collapse, and that would leave him paralyzed, broken leg.

With all that said, we proudly present the following selections that come from the Facebook group "Gary Roberts facts". These are the top of the heap (some that we submitted!). If any accidental Chuck Norris facts slipped through, we apologize, but for the most part they're fresh. They're juvenile, silly and needless, but at a time like this they still bring a smile to our face....And hopefully yours...Apologies in advance if you are offended by profanity.


The fate of Harry Potter is the hands of Gary Roberts. Roberts hates books. Potter dies.

Gary Roberts counted to infinite-twice.

A single punch from Gary Roberts gave Bryan Murray that lisp.

Gary Roberts doesn't know what "scoring chances" are because the word chance indicates the possibility of failure. Gary Roberts finishes.

Directly translated from Latin the word "hospital" means a place for people who have pissed off Gary Roberts.

Gary Roberts once took Dorothy Mantooth out to a nice seafood dinner and NEVER CALLED HER BACK!

On February 27th, 2007 the refrigeration system in Mellon Arena broke down. Instead of repairing the aging venue, the Penguins traded for Gary Roberts. Ever since then, the ice has been too scared to melt.

Neil Armstrong didn't travel to the moon, Gary Roberts traveled to the moon.

Gary Roberts goes grocery shopping at Lowe's.

Gary Roberts assists on his own goals.

Chunky Soup will be making commercials with Gary Roberts and his mother. The flavor is based on Gary's diarrhea.

Wayne Gretzkys recorded of 2857 points is a historical inaccuracy, because the NHL stopped keeping track of Gary Roberts' points after he broke 5 billion.

During the '94-95 season, Gary Roberts underwent surgery to remove bone spurs and repair nerve damage in his neck. At his request, the surgery was done without anesthesia.

Jason Spezza came home to find Gary Roberts sleeping with his wife. He then hid in the closet so that Gary Roberts did not see him.

Gary Roberts was born in a log cabin in North York, Ontario that he built with his own hands weeks in advance.

Gary Roberts once convinced a woman to suck his dick, while SHE was driving.

Gary Roberts once drank 64 beers on a cross-country flight.

Gary Roberts won the Stanley Cup with Calgary in 1989. The NHL briefly considered renaming it to the 'Gary Roberts Cup' but reconsidered after realizing that future winners would be too scared to touch it.

Gary Roberts once arrested a police man for giving him strange, suspicious looks.

Gary Roberts hockey stick is made out of human cadavers.

Somebody once tried to make a Gary Roberts cover band, but it is impossible. Nobody can cover Gary Roberts.

Gary Roberts beat Jesus in a game of 3-bar. With one shot.

Gary Roberts freed the slaves.

They tried to make a Clue version of Gary Roberts...but it was always the same answer.Gary Roberts...behind the net...with a fist.

Wilt Chamberlain fucked 10,000 women, unfortunately Gary Roberts fucked Wilt's mom.

Gary Roberts can believe it's not butter.

Wayne Gretzky had it wrong: 100% of the shots Gary Roberts doesn't take DO go in.

Gary Roberts doesn't take face-offs, he takes heads off!

Scientists got it wrong. It's not acid rain, Gary Roberts is taking a leak.

The story of Santa is loosely based on the life story of Gary Roberts. The difference is while Santa delivers presents once a year, Gary Roberts delivers pain, nightly.

Only Gary Roberts would be listed day-to-day with a broken leg.

Since 2001, people have been wondering, "who is the face behind Master Chief's helmet?" You would think the obvious answer is Gary Roberts, but you are sadly mistaken. Gary Roberts doesn't need armor to "finish his fights.

Gary Roberts messes with Texas.

Gary Roberts is the reason that Brian Engblom's hair looks like a dead rodent.

The Alamo remembers Gary Roberts.

World War I started when Gary Roberts checked Archduke Franz Ferdinand from behind.

Heath Ledger died from shock after watching a Gary Roberts career highlights video.

The Scorpions hit song was originally titled "Rock you like Gary Roberts" but censorship permitted anyone being rocked that hard.

Ever wonder what those cables hanging straight down from the ceiling of the arena are? Gary Roberts climbs each one after every practice.

Gary Roberts' jersey number, 10, represents the number of women he has impregnated who were previously considered barren.

Harry Truman is often criticized for dropping the atomic bomb on Japan, when it is obvious he could have gotten the Japanese to surrender merely by sending them a picture of Gary Roberts holding a plane ticket reading "To Tokyo".

Gary Roberts does not ask you "Can You Hear Me Now?" He knows you can hear him.

Gary Roberts plays as the farmer, WITHOUT A WAGON, and ALWAYS makes it to Oregon before you!

“Jeremiah was a Bullfrog” was originally called “Gary Roberts was a Bullfrog” but they later changed the name because Gary Roberts is not friends with anyone.

When Daniel Alfredsson found out Gary Roberts would be sitting out Game 3, his "injury" miraculously "healed" and he was ready to play.

Rt. 28 was closed again today due to a rockslide...Gary Roberts was rock climbing again. (You'll probably only get that if you're fimiliar with Pittsburgh)

Fiji water consists of 100% pure tears of Ottawa Senators fans. That's why it's the only thing Gary Roberts drinks.

In any given arena, there are 542,709 things Gary Roberts can use to kill you. But he usually just uses his fists.

Most players say they started playing hockey for the love of the game. Young Gary Roberts just thought it was cool to have blades on his feet.

There are no such things as tornadoes, Gary Roberts just really hates mobile homes.

Gary Roberts official goal totals are deceptively low because they do not include pucks he has frightened into the net.

While on the Maple Leafs Shayne Corson was caught sleeping with Alexander Mogilny's wife. This upset Gary Roberts and he decided to beat up Shayne Corson. Only Gary Roberts fucks his teammates wives, Shayne crossed the fucking line.

Wonder why no one has seen Kris Beech lately? Gary Roberts ate him.

O.J. didn't do it, Gary Roberts did...and he got away with it

Gary Roberts put the p in pneumonia.

Gary Roberts has asthma because most oxygen molecules are afraid to enter his lungs.

Today in Dallas, a parade was held on behalf of the Stars season. They were the true winners of the series against the Red Wings... They do not have to play Gary Roberts.

Sad news: Canucks' Luc Bourdon dead at 21

(Bourdon and Letang celebrating)

Reports are surfacing about the sad motorcycle accident that has suddenly and shockingly taken 21 year old Vancouver Canucks defensemen Luc Bourdon. Certainly our thoughts and condolences are with Bourdon's family and friends in this rough time.

Hockey, especially professionally, is such a tight-knit community that this affects someone everywhere you look. Pittsburgh's Kris Letang was very good friends with Bourdon. They were teammates in the QMJHL with the Val d'Or Foreurs and several times with Team Canada and they shared the same agent. Letang apparently kept in somewhat regular touch, as he knew of the motorcycle hobby that Bourdon reportedly just picked up in the past week or so.

Sad, sad times for everyone.

Worst Case Scenario

Right from the beginning, not a good game tonight. The Bruins--who we've said always seem like a scrappy bunch that will find a way to make the playoffs--out hustled, out worked, out everything the Penguins.

To make matters that much worse, Marian Hossa left the game in the 2nd period with what initial reports are calling a MCL sprain after an accidental knee-to-knee collision with "Anyone But" Glen Murray.

Dealing with Rob Scuderi's finger "explosion", the Pens used two new defensive pairs; newcomer Hal Gill worked with Kris Letang and surprisingly our boy (but not the coaches') Brooks Orpik worked with the Sarge on the top unit. As you'd expect with three new faces in the lineup and new defensive units, the Pens weren't able to get in sync tonight.

If there is a positive (and there's not) it may be that the dynamic duo of Evgeni Malkin and Petr Sykora fired 9 shots on goals. Malkin, as usual, played well and had jump in his step, it just wasn't his night. Or anyone's. With Hossa's injury, those two should be reunited with winger Ryan Malone and hopefully be able to pick up where they left off.

A couple of role players in Jeff Taffe and fresh-faced Pascal Dupuis played well too and contributed a little, something that will need to happen in the future for valuable secondary scoring. It is hard to say at a time like this, but Taffe is playing excellent and if he and Dupuis can provide above average support roles that will go a long way towards long-term success.

This was probably the third appearance that Ty Conklin made where he wasn't sharp. The first two goals (both by Marco Sturm) would be hard to stop by anyone; a wacky deflection and a perfect shot. But Conklin was out of position on a Phil Kessel shot (that mercifully hit iron) and looked rattled. The mark of a good goalie is bouncing back, hopefully Conklin will be able to do so. As our buddy the Peerless noted, the Ty has been the MVP of the Penguins this year, but Conkblock's mindset can't be good after a night like this. Hopefully a short memory will enable him to bounce back.

Marc-Andre Fleury got in for the second half of the game, but it's hard to judge his performance since everyone bascially knew the result. Who knows which goalie Coach Therrien turns to next, but his decision--as well as that netminder's performance may well set the stage for the rest of the season, good or bad.

In conclusion, a terrible loss; probably the worst of the season considering not only how the result, but also that Hossa went down. If ever this team needed Sidney Crosby, it's now. Who knows how his ankle is feeling but the Pens were flat and one gets the feeling his mere presence in the lineup will provide a huge boost. He shouldn't come back before he's ready, but the team would benefit so much if he was ready soon.

Next up after a day off, a four game stretch in 6 days begins, in four different cities on top of that.

The 2007-08 Penguins have been marked by much more adversity than last year's suprise upstart team that only lost 7 games in regulation over the second half of the season. We've seem this team respond before, but at this hour that doesn't mean much. It's time to lick the wounds and regroup a little in order to come out strong for the next hectic stretch.

Sonofabitch

To make matters worse, the news comes from a reputable source...

Tonight on KDKA-TV [Pittsburgh's CBS affiliate], Bob Pompeani reported that Roberts season and possibly his career could be over.
Pompeani says that Ron Cook of the Post-Gazette reports in tomorrow’s editions thatRoberts, who was expected back soon, after a long recovery from a broken leg, has had a major setback. In fact, his career might be in jeopardy
Roberts told the p-g, that he tried to skate 2 weeks ago and crumbled to the ice in a heap……He was r-examined [sic] and it was revealed that he tore a ligament in his ankle….and now, he hopes to be back by march 27th….but that is a long shot at best!

But then again we are talking about a man who, over 10 years ago, endured two separate 8 hour neck surgeries just for the possibility to play again.


A man who prides himself on dogged determination, an unmatchable toughness and world-class conditioning. But at now almost 42 years old could this leg/ankle problem do the old bastard in?



Now we're going to post a picture to make ourselves feel a little better.

Well, this sucks

Sidney Crosby hurt. Oh boy. What's initially been diagnosed as a dreaded "high ankle sprain" took Crosby out of the game and probably a lot longer.

Dagger

But before declaring all to be lost, let's try to focus on the good:

1)The Penguins have a center (Evgeni Malkin) to plug into the #1 spot on the depth chart who would probably be a #1 center on 25+ teams in the NHL.
2)When Marc-Andre Fleury went down to the very same injury, everyone and their brother pronounced the season to be lost. Out of the absolute shadow stepped in Ty Conklin who hadn't lost in regulation until tonight!


All this instant diagnosis of Crosby being out 4+ weeks seems a little premature. In our experience of seeing this injuries this year though (namely the Caps Alex Semin and the Pens Max Talbot) in both occasions the players thought they could heal faster than they really could, both came back too early (Semin did numerous times) and both paid the price of having the nagging injury take it's toll.

Crosby prides himself at being a professional and taking care of his body. He's not going to rush anything and knows what he can and can't play through. Plus the Pens medical staff has now dealt with three of these sprains (the aforementioned Talbot and Fleury) so they should be very familiar about rehabbing this.

When one goes down, someone else must take his place. No matter how important, Crosby is a cog in the machine. A very, very important part, to be sure, but the great thing about hockey is it's a team sport. The best players, and more often the best collection of players, often do not win it all. Rather, it's the best collection of talent that bonds together; picks up the slack and refuses to lose (and gets the requisite amount luck and bounces along the way) that usually carries off the Cup.

In that sense, losing your best player will test the whole club. For starters obviously Malkin is going to have to bring his A game as the new #1 center. But when Crosby was out last season for a few games with a groin injury Malkin was flat out sensational and took games over--almost as if he knew he was not only out of Sid's shadow but had to carry the mail for the team.

Secondary scoring is now a must. Players like Jordan Staal and Ryan Malone are now going to be in a bigger role and have to pick up the slack and capitalize on their opportunities. Both have been inconsistent offensively for stretches but with the big dog out of the lineup, their contributions are necessarily and neither need to be told that.

Further it's going to test the coaching staff. Memo to Michel Therrien: now is not the time to play the only elite winger sniper you have (Petr Sykora) with glorified grinders and role players like Jarrko Ruutu and Talbot. You have to consolidate your skill, and in a hurry.

Here's how we'd work the lines, as of now:

Malone-Malkin-Sykora
Christensen-Staal-Kennedy
Ruutu-Talbot-Armstrong
Stone-Hall-Laraque

Second line is a huge question mark, given how EC hasn't played well on the wing and Staal hasn't produced, but we think TK's energy gives it a boost. Even though they're young; they're responsible enough defensively and hustle enough to negate that....Malkin and Sykora worked well together in Russia during the lockout season and need to play together. Period. Malone's done a good job taking the body and opening up space and we think will thrive knowing that he's now a leader of this team and has to come through.

Stay tuned for the next prognosis on Crosby. God willing it will turn out better than it looked tonight.

If not, just time to make some lemonade (and vodka) out of these lemons.

As for the game....we hear Andre Roy had a part in all the goals, scoring one and assisting two more. And the Penguins didn't score. And Brooks Orpik was -3. And Ty Conklin lost. And Crosby got hurt? If you'll excuse us we're either drunk or in the midst of a nightmare.